I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We have started to decorate penises.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
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