His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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