My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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