i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
