I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Boobs are out for the taking
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
