But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
