fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
