Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
