if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We are two peas in an std pod
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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