my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
