Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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