I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
