I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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