google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
