You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
