he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
