We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
