her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
i need some magic done to my vagina
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
