Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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