no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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