Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
