If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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