I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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