i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
