i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I will be naked everywhere
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
