rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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