When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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