allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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