His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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