puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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