If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
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