Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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