You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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