I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
