Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
