Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Umm I'm too high to move.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
