Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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