yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
