ugly people sure do ruin things
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Houston, we have a blender
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
