did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
How does one acquire holy water?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
