If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
you would pick up someone in the library
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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