Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
