I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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