You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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