today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
