Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
