So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
