Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
