Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
