yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
