That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
false alarm, still single
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