Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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