I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
