Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
