Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
