Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My liver just had a heart attack.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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