I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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