You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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