Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
