thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
