dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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