tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize