YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Tornado booty call.. dedication
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
