Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
